3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.

You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore them, and carry on.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself. And as you’re fighting back, not everyone will like you. Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different.” But that’s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.

This one is hard because nothing can ruin your day like someone unloading critical nastiness at you when you are doing everything you can to help. I’ve heard “don’t take it personally” so much I want to scream. Always keep in mind that the person criticizing you in an unconstructive way is doing so to increase their own feeling of self-worth, albeit in the wrong way. If you remain confident in your abilities, knowledge, self you should let it roll off. Ignore the nasty, focus on the true bits of actual constructive feedback and use it to improve. Then go kick back some margaritas with people who love and respect you for you.

Chris Nichols

2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.

True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.

Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.” It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy. When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU.

It’s ok to focus on you first. Keeping your life in order and building yourself up improves your overall health and outlook which will then be reflected in how you present yourself to others. By making sure the internal “You” is happy, the external “You” will be better for it automatically.

Chris Nichols

While I am out for the next couple days (and for a couple days after that) Chris Nichols volunteered to write up a daily attitude series.

Thank you, Chris.

Hello everyone! I came across an excellent article written my Marc Chernoff at marcandangel.com called 7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others. I particularly like this article because my largest stressor is unreasonably high expectations for myself and others. These seven insights helped put things in a different perspective that helped me, and will hopefully be beneficial to you.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
―Bruce Lee

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.

Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting them to agree with you.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.

You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

You need to like you for you. Stop trying to keep up with the Jonses. Once you are comfortable and confident in your own skin you will find that you stop reacting, and start living.

Chris Nichols

EB* – A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

JW* – DEATH BLOW! When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but because of different reasons all together!

MS – Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. – Thomas Carlyle

JD – We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. – Helen Keller

To do what clearly lies at hand.

One of the biggest drivers of productivity is focusing on the task at hand.

We need to look up at our goals for the future often enough to make sure we are heading in right direction and to draw the inspiration that comes from an idealized future state, but our major focus should be on the step in front of us.

Is there an area of your life where you are losing focus and maybe not taking your steps as carefully as you should?

Make it a great weekend.

Jake

http://youtu.be/0pSlu2okpqM

This song reminded me of running cross country and track in high school.

Not in a “reliving the glory days” kind of way, but more of a reminder of all the important life lessons I was lucky enough to learn.

I was lucky enough to have smart coaches, loving parents, and awesome teammates.

I learned things like teamwork, discipline, determination, how to win, how to lose, etc.

Competition has taken on a different framework now, but the lessons remain.

We are already into the last quarter of the year, the clock is running down.

Maybe you’re a little tired.

Maybe it seems like meeting your goals seems a little too hard right now.

Maybe you just feel like saying “it’s the end of the year, I’ll turn it on after New Year’s”.

Now is the time to go for it.

To dig deep and push a little harder.

Don’t give in.

It might hurt a little, but you will be amazed at what you can accomplish if you just go all out. Just through the end of the year. Then take a breath and see how it went.

Relentlessly focus on your goals and priorities. Make progress every day.

Decide today that you aren’t going to give in to “easy” but that you are going the distance.

Make it a great day.

Jake

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. Claude M. Bristol

A consistent theme I am seeing in a lot of what I read and see is this idea of repetition.

In general, those thoughts and ideas we repeat constantly in our heads come to be.

I think the key is to begin understanding what thoughts are consistently in your mind.

Are you frequently nervous and stressed?

Are you frequently optimistic and positive?

Imagine just the difference between those two thought patterns and what they might produce in 1 month, 1 year or 10 years.

Challenge yourself to be more selective in your thought patterns and what you allow in your mind.

Make it a great day.

Jake

Mark 12:41-44

New International Version (NIV)

The Widow’s Offering

41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Yesterday’s parable of the talents reminded me of this couple of verses.

An important component in life is the giving of ourselves in service to others.

It’s easy to get caught up in just the monetary aspect of the story. Maybe even feel bad because you haven’t given away all of the dollars you have earned.

And while I think that is an important element of the story, I believe that maybe a more important idea in today’s world is giving all of ourselves in service to others.

In service to our families.

In service to our church or favorite local charity.

In service to our clients.

In service to our teammates.

Make it a great day of service.

Jake

The Parable of the Talents in the Bible teaches some important lessons.

I have included the story below.

Spoiler alert….one of the morals of the story is that “to whom much is given, much is expected.”

And we all have been given much.

Make it a great day.

Jake

Matthew 25:14-30

New International Version (NIV)

The Parable of the Talents

14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

24 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. 29 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

In the Bible it says the meek shall inherit the earth.

It’s hard not to bristle a little when you hear that.

We hear words like meek and humble and think of the perennial doormat that doesn’t think enough of themself to stand up for what they believe in.

I went in search of something around the topic of humility and found this short excerpt:

One of the most powerful prayers in the midst of suffering I have read was uncovered from the horrors of Ravensbruck concentration camp. Ravensbruck was a concentration camp built in 1939 for women. Over 90,000 women and children perished in Ravensbruck, murdered by the Nazis. Corrie Ten Boom, who wrote The Hiding Place, was imprisoned there too. The prayer, found in the clothing of a dead child, says:

O Lord, remember not only the men and woman of good will, but also those of ill will. But do not remember all of the suffering they have inflicted upon us: Instead remember the fruits we have borne because of this suffering, our fellowship, our loyalty to one another, our humility, our courage, our generosity, the greatness of heart that has grown from this trouble. When our persecutors come to be judged by you, let all of these fruits that we have borne be their forgiveness.

I think that is the kind of behavior the Bible is talking about.

The kind of humility and meekness it takes to write something like that is hard to imagine.

It’s easy to read something like this and feel bad. Hard to live up to those kind of standards, so why even try?

Why try? Prayers like this one are proof that better is out there. We are capable of amazing things.

Use this as inspiration to get started on your own amazing thing.

Make it a great day.

Jake

JD – More than kisses, letter mingle the souls. –John Donne

EB – The cautious seldom err. – Confuscious

JW – If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done. -Thomas Jefferson

MS – If you can dream it, you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want. – Zig Ziglar

Is there something you want to do, but never had?

Time to do something you’ve never done.

Get after it.

Make it a great day.

Jake