There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. – Martin Luther King

Today is Meaghan’s (my wife) birthday.

I found this quote above when looking for something to explain how much of an influence she is/has been on my attempts at building the best Jake I can.

Part of why I can be positive every day is because I have a great marriage.

I know that no matter what I am loved and that the special relationship Meaghan and I have will not be changed in any way regardless of how good or bad of a job I did that day.

There is real freedom in having someone in your life like that.

And it takes a special person to do that, especially when your husband is Jake.

Happy Birthday and Thank You to Meaghan!

I know this song will be on at some point today in our house, so I thought you should get to listen to it once too….

http://youtu.be/ztoSUhbNntQ

Jake

There is one thing that has worried me about sending these every day.

I am a hypocrite.

I am not a perfect embodiment of all the positive things and practices that I espouse in these emails.

Sometimes I lose patience with the kids.

Sometimes I’m not as positive as I should be in my conversations with Meaghan.

Sometimes I set weak sauce goals and don’t meet them.

Sometimes I’m not as smily and happy as I should be.

Sometimes I watch TV instead of reading a book or exercising.

The list could go on and on….

But one day I realized that maybe this is the reason that I should be writing these daily emails. I am just like you. I have my own insecurities and imperfections. I have worries and imperfections just like everyone else.

And that is where I hope that I can add some value to your day by writing these.

My hope is that by articulating my thoughts and my own personal journey towards becoming a better person, you can learn a little bit from me and my mistakes and the lessons I have and will learn in the future.

In the past, I thought of a hypocrite as being the worst kind of person and the kind of person to avoid. Having realized now that I am one, it changes my tune a little (conveniently).

I have come to the conclusion that I am not in charge of worrying about others and whether or not they may or may not be a hypocrite, I am in charge of growing myself into less and less of a hypocrite.

And these emails are about my journey towards becoming that person.

So, have a little patience with us hypocrites…..some of us are working on it.

Jake

It’s all relative.

We hear this all the time. But recently this has taken on a new meaning.

I have been listening to "The Dave Ramsey Show" as one of the podcasts I have subscribed to.

On the show he has people call in and yell out "I’m Debt Free!" and give their story of paying off their personal debt.

Despite the obvious inspiration this provides by making you think that you too can become debt free and start "winning" with money (as Dave calls it), it has an extra element to it that I thought I would share.

Each person has their own story and they vary quite a bit. Some people have paid off $200,000 in debt in one year and make $200,000 a year in income. Others paid off their $2000 credit card balance and make minimum wage.

The lesson I have learned is that "it’s all relative".

The people that have paid a relatively small amount are just as happy to call in as those that have paid off $200,000.

On the show, Dave talks about achieving financial peace and being happy with money.

This is more of an attitude than a dollar amount.

What in your life needs attitude adjustment to achieve peace?

Make it a great day.

Jake

"Everybody can be great, because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." – Martin Luther King, Jr.

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. day, I thought I would share a quote from him that I have been planning to send out at some point.

I love the beginning of this quote. EVERYBODY can be great.

Black or white.

Short or tall.

Rich or poor.

None of that matters, because greatness doesn’t come from any of those things. It comes from our ability to serve others.

And the more we are able to serve others, the greater our life becomes. If you were to look at the great figures of recent history (Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Gandhi) they all have something in common.

First, there isn’t a perfect one in the bunch. All of them made some poor choices and/or had some very difficult times in their life. So we can all stop using the “I’m not good enough” excuse for not serving as many people as we can.

Second, they all found ways to serve others and that is what led to their greatness. That is what they were about.

Make it a great week.

Jake

The Biggest Loser based email from yesterday reminded me of one that I meant to write at the end of last season.

They asked the winner of that season what he had learned and he said something to the effect of "I learned to say what was on my mind and open myself up."

While that was a good lesson learned, I think the contestants learn another lesson that ties directly into and is what really gives power to the lesson he mentioned.

They learn to put positivity and purposefulness into their thoughts and lives as part of the process of losing weight. They change the way they think about food, themselves and others in their lives.

Think about how this changes the lesson the contestant said that he learned.

He learned to say what was on his mind and to speak up. But he also learned to put positivity and purposefulness into his mind instead of the previous negativity and self doubt he had had before.

My guess is that what the contestants on The Biggest Loser say to others after the show has drastically changed since they left their homes a couple of months before.

Why?

The same reason that a computer program spits bad results when not used properly. Garbage in, garbage out.

Most of the contestants on the show come on the show speaking of strained and difficult relationships at home and how that is a cause of their weight gain and self image.

But once they get a taste of the positive thoughts and energy they learn about throughout the show, they begin talking about how their relationships at home will change.

And I bet they do. When they approach these relationships as they return home, they have learned to lead with positive thoughts and words and that will make a world of difference in their relationships with others.

Think about your life and some of your strained relationships and hampered communication. Is because of your own mental negativity and thoughts? What can you do to change what goes in so what comes out is better?

Make it a great day.

Jake

As most of you already know, Meaghan and I are fans of the show “The Biggest Loser”.

This seasons theme is “No excuses” and it made me think that the same theme might fit into a daily attitude email.

Two things come to mind immediately when thinking about the theme of no excuses.

First is the concept of priorities and focus. When you are truly focused on something that is a priority to you, there are no excuses. We would all go to extreme lengths if something is really important.

My second thought is about how we all have some excuses playing over and over in our heads everyday. We have these built in soundtracks that keep us from meeting our goals.

We think things like “I’m not smart enough, it’s too hard, I can’t do that, I have kids and can’t do that.”

Part of training yourself to be a better person is to replace these negative automatic thoughts with a positive version of the same line of thinking.

On The Biggest Loser, contestants learn to start thinking that they can do it. That weight loss is possible. These are people whose weight has taken over their life and they have used every excuse in the book along that path.

The show proves that it is possible. You can change those excuses into positives and change your life for the better.

Take a moment today to think of an excuse you use automatically and find a way to start changing it. It won’t happen overnight, but you can do it. You can change.

Make it a great day.

Jake

I finally became technologically savvy to get some podcast subscriptions set up on phone so I could listen to them in the car.

Last night I was listening to a sermon series and the pastor told a story that I thought I would share.

He talked about his plan for when he gets to heaven. He is planning on figuring out who paid for the gas for the preacher’s car on the day that the preacher came over to meet with him when he became a Christian.

He said he was going to go thank whoever that was because of all the good that had come in his life and his family’s life because of that pastor and whoever enabled him to come meet with him that day.

I thought two aspects of the story were particularly relevant for the daily attitude email.

First, little things matter. The people that gave money that allowed the pastor to fill up his gas tank probably didn’t think that much of it. Not a big deal to give a couple of dollars to a young pastor trying to make a difference. But it did make a difference. A huge difference.

So, remember that the little things matter.

It matters how you treat your coworkers, you never know when someone just needs a little extra help or a smile.

It matters whether or not you bend down to pick up that piece of trash, you never know when someone is watching.

It matters whether you smile and chat with the gas station clerk, you never know when someone has just endured some kind of tragedy.

The second thing that struck me was that he was thankful and recognized what had been done for him. He realized that someone else had sacrificed something (even if it was just a little bit of gas money) and was appreciative.

Noticing others and their generosity and being thankful for it is a great place to start when putting things into perspective.

This reminded me of how thankful I am for the generations that have come previously and this Ronald Reagan quote:

Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation. You will have opportunities beyond anything we’ve ever known.

Remember to do the little things in life that matter while being thankful and noticing the little things that others do for you.

Make it a great day.

Jake