6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change.

If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them. It might sound harsh, but it’s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what really changes is the way you see them.

This ties in with #4 and #5. Enjoy others for who they are, but if there are issues, communicate! If someone is constantly doing something that bugs you but you never attempt to address it, it leads to greater stress for you, and it makes interacting with that person uncomfortable. You will find your attitude around that person to be less than productive and they won’t have any reason why. They will pick up on this and will start treating you differently as well. This is how situations escalate. We make up stories in our own heads to fill in the gaps that a simple conversation could have fixed.

Chris Nichols