5. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.

People can’t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet. That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.

One of the things we struggle with as an organization is communication and clarity. I don’t think you can ever stop practicing this. Poor communication and lack of clarity are two big reasons for misplaced expectations. I try never to assume. If you aren’t sure, ask!

Chris Nichols

JD – Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most. -Buddha

EB – Silence is a true friend who never betrays. – Confuscious

MS – Be like water, my friend. – Bruce Lee

JW – I will bend like a reed in the wind. – Paul Atredes

Some wisdom from Bruce Lee:

http://youtu.be/LTnSEFsInp0

Make it a great Saturday.

Jake

http://youtu.be/2H5uWRjFsGc

Obvious theme on this one.

“Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” – George Patton

Make it a great day.

Jake

4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.

Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.

Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you want them to be. We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. Every human being is remarkable and beautiful; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it. The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are.

If everyone thought alike this world would be pretty boring. Being the overly analytical type it’s sometimes difficult and frustrating to work with people who are wired differently. Case in point, our CEO is a very emotional critter and drives me up the wall when I ask for information and get a book for a response when all I wanted was a sentence. When I shift my focus away from what I want, I find him enjoyable to be around and full of insights from a totally different perspective than mine. I grow as a person because of him, and reduce my stress level when I stop trying to squeeze him into a box I created.

Chris Nichols

3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.

You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another. Don’t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you. Smile, ignore them, and carry on.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself. And as you’re fighting back, not everyone will like you. Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different.” But that’s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.

This one is hard because nothing can ruin your day like someone unloading critical nastiness at you when you are doing everything you can to help. I’ve heard “don’t take it personally” so much I want to scream. Always keep in mind that the person criticizing you in an unconstructive way is doing so to increase their own feeling of self-worth, albeit in the wrong way. If you remain confident in your abilities, knowledge, self you should let it roll off. Ignore the nasty, focus on the true bits of actual constructive feedback and use it to improve. Then go kick back some margaritas with people who love and respect you for you.

Chris Nichols

2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.

True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.

Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.” It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy. When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU.

It’s ok to focus on you first. Keeping your life in order and building yourself up improves your overall health and outlook which will then be reflected in how you present yourself to others. By making sure the internal “You” is happy, the external “You” will be better for it automatically.

Chris Nichols

While I am out for the next couple days (and for a couple days after that) Chris Nichols volunteered to write up a daily attitude series.

Thank you, Chris.

Hello everyone! I came across an excellent article written my Marc Chernoff at marcandangel.com called 7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others. I particularly like this article because my largest stressor is unreasonably high expectations for myself and others. These seven insights helped put things in a different perspective that helped me, and will hopefully be beneficial to you.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
―Bruce Lee

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.

Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting them to agree with you.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else.

You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay true to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

You need to like you for you. Stop trying to keep up with the Jonses. Once you are comfortable and confident in your own skin you will find that you stop reacting, and start living.

Chris Nichols

EB* – A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

JW* – DEATH BLOW! When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but because of different reasons all together!

MS – Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand. – Thomas Carlyle

JD – We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. – Helen Keller

To do what clearly lies at hand.

One of the biggest drivers of productivity is focusing on the task at hand.

We need to look up at our goals for the future often enough to make sure we are heading in right direction and to draw the inspiration that comes from an idealized future state, but our major focus should be on the step in front of us.

Is there an area of your life where you are losing focus and maybe not taking your steps as carefully as you should?

Make it a great weekend.

Jake

http://youtu.be/0pSlu2okpqM

This song reminded me of running cross country and track in high school.

Not in a “reliving the glory days” kind of way, but more of a reminder of all the important life lessons I was lucky enough to learn.

I was lucky enough to have smart coaches, loving parents, and awesome teammates.

I learned things like teamwork, discipline, determination, how to win, how to lose, etc.

Competition has taken on a different framework now, but the lessons remain.

We are already into the last quarter of the year, the clock is running down.

Maybe you’re a little tired.

Maybe it seems like meeting your goals seems a little too hard right now.

Maybe you just feel like saying “it’s the end of the year, I’ll turn it on after New Year’s”.

Now is the time to go for it.

To dig deep and push a little harder.

Don’t give in.

It might hurt a little, but you will be amazed at what you can accomplish if you just go all out. Just through the end of the year. Then take a breath and see how it went.

Relentlessly focus on your goals and priorities. Make progress every day.

Decide today that you aren’t going to give in to “easy” but that you are going the distance.

Make it a great day.

Jake

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. Claude M. Bristol

A consistent theme I am seeing in a lot of what I read and see is this idea of repetition.

In general, those thoughts and ideas we repeat constantly in our heads come to be.

I think the key is to begin understanding what thoughts are consistently in your mind.

Are you frequently nervous and stressed?

Are you frequently optimistic and positive?

Imagine just the difference between those two thought patterns and what they might produce in 1 month, 1 year or 10 years.

Challenge yourself to be more selective in your thought patterns and what you allow in your mind.

Make it a great day.

Jake